Tonight. Tonight started off like any 'ole normal night. I knew before even getting to the beach that I wanted to send off balloons. Two white ones and a pink one to be exact. Well, tonight we went out to eat and on our way home, we decided to get the balloons and that tonight would be the night that we sent them flying. Into the air. Out of our sight. Towards Heaven. Just like our angel babies. Typically when I plan something having to do with our angel babies, I am prepared. I don't cry. Well..... lets just say, tonight changed that. We were in the grocery store buying the balloons and the tears started there. The woman blowing up the balloons probably thought I was crazy. I literally had tears running down my face as she was inflating them. Two whites and one pink. The two white ones were inflated first. Then the pink. And then the tears REALLY started streaming. At this point, Kip told me to just go to the car and wait, he would handle everything from here [insert: he told the woman we had lost 3 pregnancies and that is what the balloons were for] So hopefully, I didn't seem too crazy after all. He said she understood and felt horrible for us

That's the thing though. I don't want people to feel bad for us. I don't want them to feel pity for our situation. God has chosen this journey for us. I'm not really sure why, but I know it will be revealed. I know that when that baby is in our arms, we will realize why God chose us for this. Okay, sorry, I digressed. We walked down the same exact pathway that we walked to get engaged. Little did I know at that time, I was about to be asked for my hand in marriage by the most amazing man in the whole wide world. Little did I know, that 3 years later, we would be making that same trek....holding 3 balloons. Two white ones and a pink one. For our angel babies that we will ONE DAY get to meet

Before we let go of the strings, I kissed each balloon, twice. I couldn't let go. The tears, the pain, the physical being of those balloons. Meant more to me than I was expecting. It was like all of a sudden, there was a physical "thing" in our hands. And I could not let go. Finally, I was able. We both let go of the strings and all 3 of those balloons, they intertwined and they floated away, up, up and away, all together. They never separated. They never let go of each other. Those are our babies. Together. In Heaven. All 3 of them. We watched until we couldn't see them anymore. I cried. And I couldn't stop. To be honest, I'm not sure if Kip was crying or not. He was holding onto me and not letting go, kissing my head and holding me tight. I never truly saw him to see if he was crying or not. The Lord knew when he sent Kip to me. He knew that this man was the perfect man for me to experience life with. The good and the bad. The happy and the sad. After we finally decided to head back, I went to the beach alone for a few minutes. I wanted to pray. As much as I love my husband by my side at any given moment we are allotted, I just needed a moment. Between God and I. When I got back to the house, there he was, waiting for me with arms wide open. Waiting to comfort me

As we were walking back after releasing our balloons, I said to him, "you know, when we have our baby, however we do, that will make us a family of 6." His reply..... "thank goodness 3 of them are getting a free education" You have to find humor. As horrible as it sounds. In any way you can. Bottom line, I love my husband so much and I am so lucky and blessed and happy that I get to do life with him

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Okay, we now have pictures uploaded. I'm just going to warn you, be prepared for a picture overload. The pictures are real. They are definitely not the best of me, but they capture real emotion and so I am putting my pride aside and still posting them....