Last night, I cried. Out of nowhere really. Well, not really. I had been reading a blog about a couple who suffered multiple miscarriages, had 3 children, lost their baby girl (born at 21 weeks) and ultimately ended up adopting. They used the same consulting firm that I really like through my research so far. Now if you remember, I promised Kip I would fill him in after his boards.... so that is exactly what I have been doing :) I had him read a blog post from that blog because I feel like I could have written it myself. She expressed my same exact feelings. Then, I showed him the facebook page of this business. They always post a pic of the happy new family that has been matched or either the baby (never disclosing full names, as to keep some privacy) Well, I guess I was just vulnerable enough that after I closed the ipad, I pulled the covers over my face and just cried. Most guys would probably be thrown into a tail spin with this. But Kip has learned that sometimes, unfortunately there is nothing he can say, or do, to make me feel better. So instead, he just put his arms around me and comforted me

When I am in these "transitional" stages, I start to get more emotional and my longing for a baby gets worse. Right now, I can't go any further with adoption information without basically signing us up. We are waiting to start our next IVF treatment, and then we will have to wait on results of the embryo chromosomes again. It is during these times that I get ancy and upset. It is during these times that I just want to buy baby things to make me feel like I am doing SOMETHING. Sometimes, I just feel like I can't "wait" anymore. Sometimes I still beg God to please reveal His plan to us soon. And sometimes, I feel like He has. The desire in my heart is so strong for a baby and my gut feeling is so strong towards adoption, I just wonder if that is God revealing His plan to us

In the mean time, we have had some pretty major storms here the last few days. Annnnnd this happened......

Yep. That is our gutter. Completely disconnected from the other gutters, completely out of that clay drainage thing (a little outdated anyways, it was on our list of things to update, but not RIGHT now!) That seems to be the trend for us. Our bathroom is STILL NOT DONE. We are STILL waiting on a quote from the last contractor that came out. WAITING, WAITING, WAITING, WAITING. It feels like all we are doing lately is WAITING and getting NOTHING accomplished. Hopefully a summer evening storm doesn't pop up until we get this guy fixed. I would not like to add a flooded mud room to our list of things to fix (not pictured: 2 windows that are ground level that are in the mud room, hopefully sealed tightly!)

Annnnnnd this happened last night......

Yes. That is my husband. Literally dancing because I agreed to have a Whole Foods Pizza for dinner instead of the quinoa burgers I had planned. I wasn't really feeling them much anyways. Sooooo, I guess you could say we are cheating our way through the food challenge. I think the conclusion we have come to is that as long as the majority of our meals are within the rules, we are good. We are enjoying actually having weekends off together and want to take advantage of that time. We want to enjoy going to eat with friends. I will say 2 things for sure: 1) my nails, which are normally very thin and weak are all of a sudden thriving and hard 2) I think one of the biggest changes have been with sugar intake (or lack thereof) and I think that is why we are feeling so much better. For the most part, the sugar we eat is natural. I think that the dark circles under my eyes are better. Some may call me crazy, but I really can tell a difference. I'm not even drinking caffeine except for my one cup of half caff in the mornings and I still have energy. Again, call me crazy, but I'm a believer.....