I mean..... I just can't even tell you the flutters my heart makes looking back at those baby pictures! Y'all, this girl has been THE BIGGEST blessing to us. If you are dealing with infertility or miscarriage or infant loss, and you don't have a dog....GET ONE (and I mean like yesterday!)
Let me start from the beginning. My friend's dog had a surprise litter of puppies and I knew right away, one of those would be MINE! oops... OURS! (Kip still wasn't quite on board of getting a dog yet, even though I've begged for years) The day I went to meet this sweet girl, I also got the phone call from our embryologist that once again, we had sick babies. What happened next, shocked me. My heart felt heavy and I mourned..... not getting to bring Maybelline home with me that day. Weird, right? I know it seems that way, but she was going to be my baby. She was the one I was meant to hold and nurture and love at that time (and lets be real, now too, this girl is SPOILED) Bottom line.... even though my arms would still be empty as far as a human baby was concerned, they would be completely filled by our new fur baby. When I got home, I showed Kip the pictures and guess who suddenly changed his mind about having a dog. And MY GOODNESS, DON'T EVEN get me started once he got to see her for the first time. LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT!!! <3 <3 <3 My MIL always warned me that if we got a dog, I would be second in his life from there on out. And she wasn't kidding!! After that, we went out and bought EVERYTHING she could possibly need. And we came home, and set it all up, and stared at it. We still couldn't get her for another week. It was TORTURE to look at all this stuff without that sweet girl being in the picture too.
Finally, we got to bring Maybelline home. OMG. Even though I grew up with dogs (and so did he) I had NOOOOOOO IDEA what it would be like caring for an 8 week old puppy on our own. Lets just say, I think we are now fully prepared for nights with a baby.... which is what I know y'all are all sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for.... an update on our #thejourneytobabyb. I'm getting there. Sorry, it's been a while and I am feeling a little long winded on my fur baby still. I've been telling Kip that I feel like I don't know how to be a dog mom. I treat this girl as if she was a human child without even meaning too. I will say though, Kip caved night 3 of having her and took her out of her crate and put her in our bed. At 8 lbs, sleeping in between us, it was lovely. Now, at 6 months old, 41 lbs (and still growing) she is still in our bed and this girl can SNUGGLE. And when you have a husband that sleep stalks you, you get pictures like this....
This one was at the beach a few weeks ago. This girl LOVES the beach
Okay, now back to the baby part. For the first few months of having this sweet girl, a baby was THE LAST thing on either of our minds. And then, one night, suddenly when I was taking a shower and washing my stomach, it hit me. There hadn't been a baby in there in months, and I missed it. I told Kip that the momma urge was coming through again and I was ready to start thinking about what we were going to do next. As I have said before, I'm stubborn and hard-headed. Sometimes to my advantage and sometimes not. You can decide on your own what you will categorize this one under. I felt like I just needed one more professional opinion. Even though I had been praying for a sign and on our way to see Maybelline, there were literally billboards for foster care and adoption. Got it! I prayed for a sign and You LITERALLY gave me some. But, it wasn't that easy. My heart needed to catch up with my mind. I knew my brain and my heart wouldn't match up though, until we had a consult with the new doctor. This doctor is the one my OB/GYN wanted me to see from the start (again, being hard headed, I had to see the doctor I wanted to see first) so I made an appointment. Honestly, we went into the appointment wanting to talk to him about donor embryos. I know God is tugging at my heartstrings for adoption, but I want to be pregnant and deliver our baby...so this would be a perfect compromise, right!? WRONG! After talking to this doctor for almost 2 hours, we walked out having decided to try one more round of IVF. He felt very confident that he could get us that baby. He has consulted world renowned embryologist and molecular biologist. NOBODY can find ANYTHING that would be causing these problems
So here we are. On Friday, I will begin Lupron. But guess what!? He prescribed me a nose spray!!! That means ONE LESS INJECTION!!! {insert happy dance} If this round doesn't work, then adoption it will be! If I don't think too hard about it, I get excited. If I let my mind do it's normal thing and over think, I get a mix of emotions. Y'all, the 4 things that bother me the most about not having our own biological children are as follows 1) what would their personalities be like? 2) what would he/she grow up to be? 3) would there be blonde curls!? 4) blue eyes, yes or no? Okay, maybe the last 2 are sort of shallow, but I can't help it. As I have said before, if adoption ends up being the route we we take, none of those things will matter anymore when we have that baby in our arms. That baby won't be "that baby" anymore; he/she will be OUR baby, that will be loved more than life itself
Whew! That was a LONG post! and believe it or not, this is the toned down version! I could have said so much more! I guess I shouldn't go so long without posting again. Check back because I will be updating you all frequently. And, before I end this, I want to say thank you. Thank you to all of you who pray for us and long for baby b as much as we do! I swear we feel those prayers wrapped around us and giving us strength
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