Monday: I went to my new doctor's office to meet with my nurse, Lori, who taught me how to administer my meds. Interestingly enough, so far, I am not on one single medication that is different, only different methods of delivery. To start off, my Lupron is a nasal spray. That is one less injection!! Well, THEN I find out, my Menopur and Gonal-F can be drawn up into the SAME SYRINGE which means only ONE INJECTION!!! People!?!?!?! Do you read what I am saying here.... from 3 injections....to 1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insert happy dance emoji girl in the red dress!!!! I have already started the nasal spray and the rest of my meds will begin on July 5
**for those of you interested, we are now going to Carolina's Fertility Institute and seeing Dr. Yalcinkaya**
The past 2 rounds of IVF, I have been pretty even-keel. I have heard about the mood swings and the "feeling/acting" crazy with all the meds.... but never really felt that way. I prayed SUPER HARD the first time to not experience those side effects, and it worked!! The second time around, I think I was just in a daze the whole time. We went straight into it after losing our 4th pregnancy and we had all the workers in our house for the bathroom and the holiday season was approaching...and I just did it. I didn't think about, really at all. I teared up each night with my injections, unlike the first time, but I gave myself a break that time and decided it was just hormones going crazy between pregnancy loss and IVF immediately. Well, this time.......... TOTALLY DIFFERENT so far......
Let me go ahead and throw out a prophylactic apology to everyone involved in my life. On Friday, I was watching The Tonight Show (btw, on here, it will just be called Jimmy Fallon) that I had recorded. Y'all, I literally laugh out loud while watching his show. No matter if I am alone or not, I laugh. Well, this particular episode, Kip had already watched. We were in the den, I watching my show and he, reading something....when I began to laugh at something on the show. What? you may ask..... I have NO IDEA anymore, because what happened next shocked me so badly I think I just forgot all other details.... so I was laughing so hard, I had tears in my eyes, and then, all of a sudden...I am CRYING. And I'm not talking about silent tears streaming.... I mean FULL ON BOO-HOO!!! I just kept saying "I don't know what is wrong with me!" and Kip just said ....."are you okay?" with a VERY concerning look on his face. Well, y'all, tonight.... having a great time just hanging out and cooking, we went from laughing, to me CRYING. TEARS STREAMING DOWN MY FACE while I am cutting up broccoli. AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY!!!!!!!! I was almost over-stimulated my first IVF round and NEVER felt like this before. It's like all of a sudden today, the side effects started. I got some INTENSE hot flashes at work today and now this crying business!!!! Every morning I have prayed. I have prayed for strength; emotionally, physically and mentally to get through this stimulation cycle. I have prayed for His plan and continuing to believe in His plan. I might need y'all to join me in that specific prayer. I would like to keep my job (and husband!) through this 3rd round
This picture showed up on my Instagram newsfeed at the absolute right time. It's not a coincidence in my eyes
Basically what I am trying to say is, if we are around each other or talk to each other over the next month, and I sound weird, or not myself or start to cry... PLEASE don't take it personal. It's just my hormones :)
Okay...so now I am going to 100% switch topics and discuss my sweet sweet girl. My Maybelline. My angel on Earth as I tell her all the time. Y'all this girl has prepared me more than I EVER knew for motherhood. Let me just number off the reasons why......
1. unconditional love that I never knew before
2. up every 1-2 or 2-3 hours (at first) to go potty.... and then going to work the next morning. I'm basically relating this to a feeding schedule of an infant. However, with an infant, at least you get maternity leave... with a puppy, you have a life changing experience over the weekend and then return to work on Monday
3. I am HARD HEADED and STUBBORN, and I thought that my being that way could (and would) out-weigh any little one's way of being the same way....WRONG. We have caved on things that I said would NEVER happen with a dog. Makes me legit scared of what we will cave on when a baby arrives
4. Kip and I made a pact, no matter what is said in the middle of the night, it doesn't count! Resentment can grow large and in charge if you start keeping tabs of who does what and when
ie: Kip had been on call the night before, but got to come home mid-day for the rest of the day, and off that next day....I had worked the day before, slept that night and then worked again... and had to return to work the next day. Well, when Maybelline needed to go potty in the middle of the night, and he didn't move, and I got up to let her out ONE HOUR before my alarm went off...I wasn't exactly nice about it. So the next morning, we made our pact.....
5. When our girl is sick, I can't handle it. We got her spayed at the beginning of June. Only 3 hours post-op, I brought her home. The nurse in me was going CRAZY! Where is my IV to give her pain meds because she can't take them by mouth!? I see her respiration rate is up, but she won't eat and the vet said no pain meds on an empty stomach. BUT SHE NEEDS THEM!!!!! She would' lay on the heating pad, she wouldn't snuggle (usually she hard core snuggles) and worst of all, she needed intervention but WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO HELP!!!!! Finally, 3 hours later, I was able to get her to eat some treats with her pain meds hidden in them and she FINALLY rested for the night
6....a continuation of 5..... on Friday, Maybelline played with her cousin dog, on Saturday she went to doggie-daycare, Sunday, when she was a little more sleepier acting than usual, I didn't think anything of it. Monday, she was WAAAAY too sleepy acting still. I kept telling Kip that she wasn't acting normal and something was wrong [and here is where being an ICU nurse will haunt me with children] This morning, my alarm rang, she didn't move. I offered her to go eat, she didn't move. I went into the kitchen to make my coffee and I heard the most grotesque sound coming from our bedroom. Poor girl was throwing up, all over our bed. That momma instinct kicked in and immediately I exclaimed "I will just call out of work or go in late today, this girl needs to go to the vet!" Well, she seemed a little better by the time I was leaving for work (other than not eating her breakfast, which is NOT like her, girl likes to EAT) Through the day, I texted Kip, she wasn't seeming any better and he was sending me the MOST PITIFUL pictures of our girl ..... well, 12 hours later. She is BACK TO NORMAL. Eating, playing, getting into mischief
Seriously, y'all. Could your doggie momma heart take getting these
pitiful pictures of your sweet, energetic girl while you were at work!?
Basically, Kip will have to take our children to the doctor. I never one time thought of myself as the possible "helicopter" parent, but I think I will go ahead and take back those thoughts. Lord bless our future children
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